Let’s Listen: New Americana

When the Coachella 2016 lineup came out, I was stoked to see which artists I currently adore were playing and of course, check out some new artists as well. Last year, Coachella 2015, was my first ever Coachella! And, I loved it, terribly loved it so much. This year, for 2016, I vowed that I wouldn’t see as much EDM artists as I did last year. I think I stayed in the Sahara tent too long. My roommate, Vivian, talked about Halsey and how she wanted to see her. Trusting her music taste, I listened to Halsey on YouTube and now, Halsey is someone I cannot miss at Coachella. As someone who loves catchy, up-beat, super fast paced music, Halsey is not someone I would generally listen to but hey, we’ve all got to broaden our horizons sooner or later.

But without a moment to waste, here’s her awesome tune! This is “New Americana”, which is one of her more catchier tunes on her album, in my opinion, but her album has a pleasant mixture of upbeat and slow sonic sounds.

Besides this song, I can’t wait to hear her play “Ghost” and “Colors”!

Let’s Talk: Old Friendships

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One of the reasons why I wanted to start this blog was for me to be able to jot down all my thoughts – because I have too many – and try to wrap my mind around, well, my mind!

This picture is from my internship notebook because I thought of this and immediately, I had to write it down or else it would escape me – as (unfortunately) many of my thoughts do. Gone with the wind like my title, old friendships.

My handwriting isn’t the best – but have no fear because I’ve got it typed up! I actually changed “more” to “most” and removed “is”.

Sometimes, the time you learn most about  friendship is when you lose one. What follows is that you constantly think about it when you know it’s not coming back.

I’m human, I’m a college student, I’m in my early twenties, and I’m bound to lose friends. Friendship, like love, doesn’t always last forever but that doesn’t mean it was a bad relationship. Old friendships have taught me a lot about myself more than having sour leftover feelings about someone.

A lot of times, I’ll admit, it was me who was the bad friend or the one who triggered the ending. It has been my fault or it has been me who left the friendship. Sometimes, it was because I felt the end of a friendship coming soon like a storm that had finally darkened the sky. The other times, it would be me who realized I was the hidden poison in their apple. I didn’t know I was the snake in the grass until I finally was able to hear the hissing sounds coming from my own self. No one ever thinks they’re the serpent.

In life, all I ever want to be is wise and full of experience. Not having certain people in my life has taught me to value the current friends that I do have. Not being able to hang out with certain people (that I think of fondly sometimes) has taught me how to be a better friend. Not being friends anymore with certain people has taught me that if I want good friends, I have to be a good friend myself.

Because of the past friendships that I have lost, I have learned to take friendships quite seriously now. And for that, I thank the people who crossed paths with me, shared laughs and tears with me, and was simply there for me when I needed it, so genuinely, I thank you for being my friend. Even if we don’t speak anymore, know that I wish you the best and nothing but the best.

 

Let’s Talk: Love?

The power of a story can be life changing. We have the power to make anyone and anything famous with the power of the Internet. We can change so many things with the help of donation links, signature petitions, and writing emails to government officials.

But why is that we can’t seem to help ourselves? What I mean is, why don’t we ever take the advice we give others?

I can tell my girlfriends to give that guy a chance or maybe a second chance, to give the guy her number, and to stop being so uptight and have some fun once in awhile.

Let’s reverse where the camera perspective is. So now, the limelight is on me, but I really wish it wasn’t. The light almost stings because it shows all my flaws and who I really am. I can tell my friends to go on that date or to give that guy a chance but I could never do the same.

But truly, we never learn to face the issues we have until we have others to help us confront them. In my friends’ eyes, I’m a social prude. I hate the idea of meeting new people, getting close to strangers, and making new friends. I’m closed up and I’ll never let anyone in. They can try hard but I’ll just push them away.

But I always wake up and realize that the things my friends are telling me are the same things I’ve told them.

“Dude, you never know unless you try.”
“Hit him up then!”
“Take a chance!”

Why is this?

My conclusion is that we would rather see other people fail and succeed rather than ourselves. Hey. It’s a harsh statement. I know.

I would rather have my friend experience a fun time or heartbreak rather than myself. I am that hard headed and prideful. I don’t want to risk rejection but at the same time, I’m scared of the possibility of actually being happy with someone. I’m so used to being with myself that the idea of being with someone freaks me out. I became comfortable with my own company that any new company changes everything.

Change is scary and that’s why we’ll never have the guts to take our own advice because we’ll be changing what we’ve known always to be true into something that will refine what kind of advice we’ll give out in the future. I firmly believe (right now) that people never change so maybe that’s why I can’t and won’t change because I already told myself that I can’t!

Change is scary but feelings are scary, too! Some people say that love is the closest thing we have to magic but I disagree, it’s not magic, it’s evil sorcery! Love, or even a simple crush, can make people different, like getting flustered and butterflies, have an increased heart rate, and sweaty palms. I know, it’s silly, but I guess the reason why I’m most scared is because… love is real – and it’s out there. Although I joke numerous times that love isn’t real, it is real because I’ve felt it myself. Note*: past tense.

Feelings are fleeting – what if I wake up one day and the person I love doesn’t love me anymore, or worse, what if I lose my feelings for that person? Love is real but does it last forever? Maybe for some people, but not for many, including myself. Granted, I am incredibly young and still have so much more to experience – but I’ll let you in on a little secret, I hope to experience love, but only genuine, passionate, meaningful, uplifting, and extraordinary love. Love that is so deep that it stirs and shakes my soul. Mr. Big, are you out there?

Let’s Talk: Handwriting (Is it Extinct?)

Is that an “A” or a “U”? Wait, it’s an “O”? Oh, it’s a cursive “O”.

I’m beginning to question if a person’s handwriting even matters anymore.

Remember in grade school where we all learned how to write in cursive and n looked like a and z looked somewhat like a drinking straw?

I was in one my classes and realized that my handwriting has really gone downhill. Maybe it’s my vacation to blame or maybe, maybe, it’s the fact that many of us are typing more than we are clicking our pens to start writing away.

As you step into a college lecture class, I’m willing to bet that there is at least, not one or two, but THREE people with laptops ready with Microsoft Word (that they probably illegally downloaded) opened up. Of course, some professors don’t even allow laptops or tablets (or phones!) in the room, so there are exceptions. But times are changing.

You’re more likely to be clicking and clacking away at a keyboard than writing your thesis on note paper. Am I right?

Let’s face it: penmanship is going to be a dying art soon. Maybe not in a few months or years, but why would we learn how to touch a pen when we’ve got keyboards to spare at Goodwill?

I was thinking about this and it reminded of that one episode from Phil Of The Future. Oh, Phil, cute but he couldn’t write the alphabet to save his life. Who can blame him? He’s from the future and we’re closely getting there!

Let’s Talk: Valentine’s Day

As Valentine’s Day approaches, I wonder why I am even caring about this day – when it’s just another day?

Maybe the reason why is that I have people in my life who hate it or love it so it’s making quite an impact in my life.

I usually am not too upset about this day – I love this day because there are many things that arise that allow me to be elated: the color pink everywhere, hearts galore, yummy chocolates and people being made happy throughout the whole day by someone special in their life. But I can understand why other people being made happy in the love department can make others the opposite.

So what do you do if you’re single and it happens to be Valentine’s Day?

When everyone around you is in love, happy, and kissing up their lovers, you could possibly get upset because you don’t have someone of your own to kiss (and your dog doesn’t count). However, I don’t. I am happy that others are happy. It is truly all about your perspective. We can choose to sulk or we can choose to celebrate!

Valentine’s Day is just another day: another day to be grateful that we are alive, a day where we are able to embrace our family and friends in proper ways that we can, and a day where we should love the most important person in our own lives: ourselves!

Make Valentine’s Day about you: treat yourself, value yourself and embrace yourself. It’s all about perspective, so make it all about you.

Let’s Look: Feeling 22, Kim?

Last night, it was my sorority sister’s birthday, Kim, as she turned 22! We went to Saddle Ranch in Costa Mesa, but in my opinion, it was so close to Newport Beach that I say we were in Newport Beach.

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We were seated outside, and while that sounds scary for someone like me who was wearing a thin dress, there were heaters that definitely sufficed my need for warmth. Saddle Ranch wasn’t that noisy or busy as I would have expected on a Thursday night.

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I got her the blowjob shot concocted of who-knows-what alcohol and topped off with whipped cream.

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Whether you order sweet potato fries or regular fries, trust me that all fries taste better with ketchup + Sriracha!

IMG_0035IMG_0034IMG_0033All the food in these pictures are not mine, I didn’t order anything because I’m trying to be healthy, ha ha. Also, I’m actually not a fan of burgers and yellow cheese. I did snack on their biscuits because I loOoOve carbs!

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This picture is kind of blurry… now you don’t see us (that clearly)… now you do!
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Aw, aren’t we cute and so happy looking? Just kidding, the only time we all get along and smile is for pictures only.

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MySpace pose! Duck face and not-that-great angle. Pictured: Marijo, my roommate, sister, bodyguard, and last but not least, my brother. But mostly brother.

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Pictured left to right: Kim (birthday girl), me (Virgin Mary in all white), and Lynelle (my secret lover). For some reason, I felt the shortest, which is rare because I’m one of the tallest people in my friend group. It was new and different – not sure if I liked it, ha ha.

Happy birthday Kim! Hope you enjoyed all the free alcohol and the wild bull ride. Feelin’ 22 yet, Kim?

Let’s Look: My College Bedroom

Since I will no longer be a college student and will be moving back home soon, I decided to let my college bedroom live forever in peaceful memory in this blog. So, I decided to pull out my super old point-and-shoot but trusty Canon PowerShot!

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“Be Free”: two words that I probably think I say a lot, but perhaps not. This is on the entrance of my bedroom door. It really sets the mood, at least that’s what I tell myself.

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A corner of my counter. Yes, I do use all these lotions and yes, there will be more white roses to be seen! Here you see one body spray, but I have lots more. I think I have too much. Who wants one?

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This is a poster that I did for one of my advertising classes and it’s true, nothing compares to naked. While it was for Naked juice, it does apply to the literal word “naked”. To be emotionally bare and raw – there is nothing that compares to it. As for being naked, as in skin naked, as in nude, we are most vulnerable at this state and nothing compares it.

IMG_0001 This might be my most favorite area of my room. I love candles and I love lighting them – they improve my mood instantly! I have quite an embarrassing collection of Peach Bellini from Bath & Body Works. And look, more white roses.

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This lies on top of my dresser – more white flowers that give me a moment of peace, even if that moment lasts half a second.

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These broken Christmas lights hold more white flowers and they are pleasant to look at while I’m getting ready for bed or just waking up.

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My bed. The place where I sat, slept and secretly cried. After having slept on Twin XL for years, when I slept back home on my Queen sized bed, I wasn’t used to the increased bed space.

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Another candle and some seashells in my bathroom. I got these seashells from Marshall’s because when I go back home to Sacramento, I want to have a beach theme since there are no beaches anywhere near Sacramento.

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this even though this might have been quite the bore.

 

Let’s Talk: Feminism

Does this word make you annoyed? Angry? Happy?

If it makes you feel anything, I want to know what emotion and why so that very emotion.

When I see or hear that word, I feel ignited. I never thought that one word would mean so much to me until I realized what it is and what it could mean for me.

Of course, at first, I was ignorant and probably threw out the word “femi-nazi” around foolishly. But now, at the age of 21, I truly know better and hope that you too, will take the stand and understand that feminism is a good thing.

Now, some people will gladly argue that feminism is real – but to me, it’s not real, yet.

It is a concept that we, as the vast human race, are quite far from. There are traditions rooted in a plethora of cultures where the genders are not treated equally.

We need feminism – we gravely needed it in the past and very much so in the present.

You may not * think * that you need it, but let me tell you why I need it, and desperately needed it when I was younger.

When I was younger… I was molested. When it first happened, my mom did not believe me. When it happened again, he did not go to jail. When it happened another time, he did not receive any sort of punishment. After it all happened, nothing happened to him.

When it happened, I became a victim of sexual abuse. When it happened, I felt like my voice, innocence, and childhood was taken away. After it happened, I couldn’t be touched by other people and even the touch of my own hand scared me. After 5 years, I remain haunted by him, there’s never a day where I don’t think about him and what happened. I am forever scarred with wounds that open all the time – the pain truly never goes away. I still struggle with stitching myself together – I fear that I will randomly break down and not be able to hide my tears.

At 21, I no longer call myself a victim. I am a survivor – but, tragically, there are many people who have been through much worse than me and they did not survive. So my cry for feminism is not about me – it’s about the people whose lives were stolen from them. My cry for feminism is about the men and women who have been raped and don’t have a voice right now. My cry for feminism is a cry itself – I want my voice to be heard because there was a moment where my voice could not come out – and I never want that to happen again, ever.

But I digress.

I am just one girl. I am just one person. But this happens to many more girls and boys, teenagers, young adults… daily. And that is why we need feminism. No one deserves to be violated and we must teach that feminism is not just about equal pay, it’s equal treatment for everyone. Feminism is not just about men being able to wear skirts and women being able to have cool hairy armpits, it is about not having to live in fear because of your gender.

So now, how does the word ‘feminism’ make you feel?