Flashback. It was night. A summer night, to be exact. The month and day unknown but the weather was warm as the conversation we held in his aged Nissan. We were driving down the empty 57 freeway, just two exits away from returning to our apartment, a space we shared for two consecutive years. The discussion on the car ride back was about destiny and fate. My former roommate, A, and I were talking and trading ideas of what we thought about life.

Could one’s destiny be altered? Is fate an undefeatable force that can’t be stopped, only felt and experienced? If you were told your fate, would you believe it? Would you change it? 

For as long as I can recall, I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason, what is meant to be, will come, and if something is not fated to connect, then that’s life. The cards we’re dealt can result in a win or no wins, depending on perspective. For example, if we lose touch with someone in our lives, is it always a loss?

If the cards we are given is our destiny, then we can change it by getting new cards, putting some items at stake and taking risks, gambling some hope and faith in exchange for some answered prayers, or perhaps, we can accept the cards we receive because that’s just how the deck was shuffled.

The reason why I see life as this game with unpredictable cards isn’t because I trust the universe to give me what I want all the time but because I welcome disaster and almost anticipate adversities to come my way. However, it’s not as if I yell to the world, agitating it and beckon the spirits to rattle my life, it’s because I know life will remain a nonstop rollercoaster for me. I’m not a negative person but I’m positive that life will have its ups and downs. Not all the best cards can be played at once.

As stated in my karma post, we cannot choose what happens to us. We can only dictate how we react, so we could rejoice or revolt when we get a card we don’t quite appreciate. But isn’t it the bad times that help us appreciate the good times anyway?

C’est la vie.

This is a tangent, but a necessary tangent, so I’d like to wish a happy 23rd birthday to the friend I shared this conversation with: Andrew. We were meant to have that conversation at that moment so that I could curate this post. Also, thank you for your friendship, time, text messages at obscure moments, and for always having me in your thoughts. Today, I have you in my blog, and if that isn’t a sign of affection from me, then, I don’t know what is.