It was the start of our weekend. Nothing shocking, me in your sweater, and you in your basketball shorts. I hugged you, nothing new, as we always do, and for a moment, I felt I had no one in this world but you. I knew this wasn’t true and isn’t true. But this feeling was something new, for I had never felt so spotlighted yet isolated at the same time.
But why did that feeling come to me? Because anyone can see that there is more to me.
Feelings aren’t facts even if they feel like the truth. I think, I feel, I believe.
Tears surface and sink to the pillow. I blink them away to rush away this feeling, but it lingers.
I hold you to bring myself back into reality, but this isn’t a dream.
And yet, for a brief moment, I felt like I only had you, like you were my only friend.
For a brief moment in this world, I felt… like… all I have in this world was only you. And for this moment, this moment of love, it is enough.
Maybe, in another time, our souls would dance with each other. I might ask the universe to remind me of the love we once shared and that we could collide and crash into each other in the best way. If I am to be pink and you midnight blue, and if destiny would allow it, then sunsets would be sprayed mauve and dusty lavender and transition into dark plum. If only this thought could be revealed in the sky as evidence, then I will know if our reunion is indeed fated or a fool’s dream.
If only, if only.
And if the sky does not blush, I will still take in the view in earnest, for there is never an unsightly sunset. I will thank the heavens above for all the days and light we had before and I will pray the love away.
And if the sky does not blush, I will remind myself of how I can take to a canvas and paint the daydreams and sights I wish to see. I will remind myself to paint my skies with hues unrelated to you.
And if the sky does not blush, then inward I will look, and naive desires I will hush.
And… when I look to the sky, it will not blush and then dusk arrives, so indeed, this love is fated to not survive.
There will be clarity in the horizon.
The first star will show itself and pleads for me to move on and I wish the same. The constellations will spell out my fate: “Goodbye.”
Lynn’s Notes: Y’all, I need to clear out my drafts LOL… I wrote the grey area many, many months ago and I tried to finish it sweetly and softly. I challenged myself to complete this and after scratching my head a bit, I concluded this piece as you see in the periwinkle background. The true heartbreak (for me) is in the lesson that, sometimes, love is not enough. I’m currently seeking a solution of where to pour the love I have and perhaps it is enough, for this moment, to write it here. Thank you for reading! <3
Never Stop Chasing 